The Sisterhood and Learning More

Carol, above and Audrey below bring some cheer to Martijn yesterday and today.

I waited all afternoon for Martijn's doctors to arrive to tell us what they know about the pathology of the tumors. After his dinner we asked one of the main "floor" nurses to please find out why no one yet had come to us. This nurse seemed to understand that we were both very frustrated with the lack of communication and follow through and assured us that tomorrow someone would come. So, I left my sweetie who seemed satisfied to relax a bit before his mother and Aunt "Zus" would come for a short evening visit.

My evening was a spontaneous meeting of the Divine Secrets of the Ma-Ma Sisterhood - an impromptu gathering of a few good women friends - Barbara Greenberg, Casey O'Dell, Audrey Sodijker, Claudia Vaz and Johanna Martinez - who graciously each cooked a dish or brought a nice bottle of wine to share with Carol and me. A night of easy chatting, simple pleasures shared in the shadow of Martijn's illness and absence from our home. What seems like a lifetime ago now I had threatened to instigate a Ma-Ma (Maastricht) Sisterhood before cancer altered all agendas and plans. How coincidental it was then that when I phoned Martijn to have our good night conversation he told me that the Sandra Bullock, Ellyn Burstan Ya-Ya Sisterhood film was actually on telly this evening! So, after our real Ma-Mas left, Carol and I snuggled in to enjoy this tale of friendship and loyalty.

But only after Martijn had told me that late in the evening Dr. Keymueller had come to him to explain that they know there is still cancer in five lymph nodes. She will return tomorrow afternoon so that we can learn more what this means. While this is not the news we hoped for, it is not shocking - she's been indicating that this could be the case all along. A part of me believes they've known this and simply decided to give us time to heal from the initial trauma of the entire surgery. I asked Martijn how he felt and he said he needed to process this information. A gentle understatement. He doesn't want to upset me; I don't want to upset him. Today an old friend from Minnesota sent a brief email with a story of immense hope about her relative who was diagnosed with 4th stage throat cancer and given only a 10% chance to live. He's going strong five years later. There are many stories like this to help us through.

Right now all I can do is think of tomorrow and seeing Martijn and hugging him. Really all. Tonight we had a gathering of lovely, strong, compassionate women willing to embrace us, share our life and make one night divine. There will be many more days and evenings like this. So for now, keep us in your prayers. Light another candle; sing a silly song; laugh at the moon. Susan