The Art of Mindful Living

Born in central Vietnam in 1926, Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (called Thây by his students) is one of the best known and most respected Zen masters in the world today, as well as a poet, and peace and human rights activist. Two of our best friends, David Fey and Ursula Glunk, who have been noted on this site previously, introduced me to his teachings. Last week, in the midst of my most stressful period, David gifted me with an simple yet powerful CD set of his teachings, entitled 'The Art of Mindful Living', and Ursula almost simultaneously presented us with a lovely video. This morning, after the tension of this week, (or perhaps I should say of the past four months), I sat perfectly still listening to his 'satsong' and practicing his meditations in the beauty of our home. The strength and grounding of this exercise carried me through the day. Martijn was able to listen to some of the CD and wants to meditate together once we can coordinate this.

Coordination is a keyword of today. It seems that finally, the home care and the hospital have been miraculously pulled into coordination by our own Zen like general practitioner, Dr. Maurice Bom. While home care team has struggled valiantly with this leaking wound situation, they simply are not trained or specialized enough. Today one of the supervisors, Raymond, visited for the second time. Dr. Bom came for a home visit (yes dear American friends, they do this here) and suggested that I photograph the wound and email the images to our surgeon, Dr. Keymeulen. He also ordered a saner dressing system for the wound which I applied myself, simply clean sterile gauze with some wetness barrier. Later in the day Dr. Keymeulen and Dr. Bom rang up to say that Martijn will be examined at the hospital tomorrow - a relief. Dr. Bom assured us his office is available 24/7 through its emergency number as is the home care team!

I took time to run errands in our neighborhood dealing with thermometers, soothing teas, nutritious juices and a special waste bin for the medical refuse we're piling up. Martijn's sister Elly, brother-in-law, Paul, nephew Jony and niece Jolieke paid a visit. Sadly when they came a surge of exhaustion overtook me and I wasn't very hospitable I'm afraid. The healthcare system also delivered Martijn a large supply of ‘nutridrinks’ to help him gain much needed weight. He's down to 58 kilograms which is a shocking 128 pounds on his almost 6 foot frame.

Since Monday I have been preparing nutritious and fattening meals three times a day with ‘inbetweeners’ thrown in. This morning Martijn took a hand in the kitchen (he has too much energy!) and cooked his own oatmeal, accompanied by a huge hunk of ginger spice bread liberally spread with butter. Yes, right now he can eat whatever his little heart desires in spite of the many (and conflicting) ideas about vegan, vegetarian, blah blah cancer diets. At the moment high calories AND nutrition are the orders of the day. Lunch was leftovers from last night's dinner of turkey cutlets dredged in yogurt and lemon, breaded and sautéed in olive oil, mashed potatoes and spinach with a nutridrink. Dinner was spinach tortellinis with tomato sauce and cheese and a large fresh salad with homemade guacamole and a piece of Barbara's sinful chocolate cake smothered in homemade whipped cream with cane sugar and fresh vanilla bean. Naturally I'll gain all the weight!

Today my good buddy Barbara Craig, of Philadelphia, who herself has had this criminal anal cancer, asked what I wanted and she's sending me a case of Barbara's Natural Oat cereal which we devour most mornings and is not available here; dear friend Sally Eves, also from Pennsylvania, wants to purchase another evergreen for our healing garden to represent her and her loving furry family of kitties and a pooch named Dusty. This weekend our wonderful friends Christiane Schneider and Thomas Vieten, of Eupen, Belgium, are descending upon us with a pre-made healthy feast. And Marion (of Jang and Marion of Apeldoorn) will plan to come by at some point to help with cooking, cleaning, piano playing or storytelling. Friends here like Casey O'Dell, Claudia Vaz, Barbara Greenberg, Audrey Sondeijker and Johanna Martinez have already come with food and friendship; Frank Koeckebakker and Martijn's brother Janus have supplied countless DVDs, and Jacqueline Braun with lots of love and friendship.

Back stateside the messages from Suzanne Kochevar and Rich Heck, Theo Jolosky, Carol Malkinson and Dave Hyde, Rosalind Miller, Heinz Brummel, Paul and Libby Scheele, Suzy Queen, Kathy Tait and Bill Valentine, my cousin Hannah Williams, Michael Putman, dik and Carmen Bolger, and my wonderful classmates from Philadelphia High School for Girls, Class 211 of 1967, friends from Spiral Dynamics have kept me sane and supported. My dear, ex-husband Bob provides wonderful short stories to read, Anne McQuinn continues to light lights.Across Europe friends like our sweet Irena Zagajšek, Ankica Kosic, Krista Knopper, Ingrid Regout and other friends and colleagues from the University of Maastricht perform countless kindnesses for us. If I missed mentioning you, I apologize. Our cup runneth over and we are grateful that you continue filling it.

Martijn and I hope to begin to radiate back out; so many of you have your own ordeals, your own friends and family who are suffering or in pain. We hope to provide encouragement, inspiration and loving traditions that support you and yours even as we continue on our own perilous journey.

Tonight we had a romantic meal and settled, for one brief shining moment, into our cozy living room for the delicious pleasure of simply watching television TOGETHER. Your prayers, meditations, wishes and gestures have made this spot of simple pleasure possible. From the bottom of our hearts we thank you and hope you can all heal along with us. In peace, Suze