Support of a Different Type

Although Martijn continues to grow more robust the lymph edema condition needs to be addressed. So, he is now wearing a toe-to-ass support stocking on his wounded leg where the lymph fluid collected causing edema, not a good condition to have. The stocking is REALLY tight and thus, uncomfy, but he knows, given the whole picture of things that happened, this is not a bad situation to endure. Still, it is a BIG procedure to pull this contraption on him in the morning. Martijn still cannot bend or sit comfortably and the stocking must be applied, so I actually went for a lesson to learn the proper technique!!! Alas, dear fans, these are neither his legs nor stocking color, he had no choice so his is pale flesh tone and not quite as sexy as this advert. Keep your kind of support in the form of holding us in your hearts coming. (If he hangs this thing by the chimney at Christmas he'll really get a load of goodies!) Ho, ho for now.

Thanksgiving 2006

These events seem to have happened a lifetime, not a year ago. I couldn't resist posting this little remembrance of last Thanksgiving weekend in Maastricht. It is very cool that Blogger now lets us post movies directly without first uploading through YOUTube. In the present, we're still digesting this past weekend's leftovers. Martijn made a nice feast for his mother and Marcel last night, then we treated them to the documentary, 'Rittenhouse Square' narrated and directed by Robert Downey, Sr. (yes, junior's real life dad!) that Bob Ingram kindly sent us. It was nice showing off a treasured part of my fair hometown to my in-laws. Watching the dvd I realized how much I hope that Martijn and I can both travel together again. I especially would like to spend some time with him back on my beloved east coast. Today Martijn walked a mile. We had to go to the medical supply store to learn how to apply his 'sexy' new toe to thigh compression hose to tackle the lymph edema issue. The walk was great - nice crisp autumn weather and he didn't have a problem. Getting that tight stocking on, now that's a different issue. Hope all our American friends had a fulfilling (all puns intended) Turkey Holiday. Signing off - gobble gobble.

Electronic Hearth

Here we are by the electronic hearth welcoming Tessa & Scott just last Friday, November 16th. Their visit seems already so distant. Today in America is called "Black Friday" for the busiest shopping day of the year when, supposedly, all retail goes into the black (profitability) rather the red (deficit). So, many of my fellow Americans could today help bolster this scary, flagging economy. Today we're staying close to the electronic fireplace trying to absorb the events of this week, one that seems to have marked an upswing in Martijn's mobility and vigor.
Here is King Frog himself, another nice portrait taken last week by Scott. On Wednesday, Martijn and I attended a lecture on "The Democratic Deficit in the EU" by Professor Dr. Tannelie Blom, Director of the European Studies Programme at the University of Maastricht where I received my degree. This was a big step for Martijn, his first real outing for almost four months! He enjoyed the lecture and even made a brief trip inside a nearby supermarket afterward.
Here's a colorful shot of Tessa and me near Maastricht's Central Station last week.

Last night we enjoyed an intimate Thanksgiving dinner with Ursula, making many toasts to give thanks for bounty of the friendship and support of so many wonderful friends around the world. We wish one and all a great start to the holiday season.

Bottom's Up

The Masterpiece and The Master. Martijn’s bum shown with a healing stone sent by Anne McQuinn, Friday, November 16, 2007. It is difficult to explain just how miraculous this bottom is or how much admiration and awe we have for Dr. John H. Sawor, pictured here in the plastic surgery clinic at azM (Academic Hospital Maastricht), Monday, November 19, 2007, as Martijn returned for his two month check up. A mere 60 days ago a team of top-notch surgeons including Drs. Keymeulen and Huizinga removed a cancerous tumor the size of Martijn’s hand. That culprit was far larger than any of the scans ever showed or any or Martijn’s doctors expected. As reported here, they had to make critical decisions on the spot that entailed removing Martijn’s anus, rectum, part of his lower spine and 15 lymph nodes of which 5 showed cancerous cells. It was Dr. Sawor’s job to anticipate the possibilities and help reconstruct Martijn so he could resume as normal a life as possible post surgery. The resulting wound was incredibly large. Dr. Sawor had previously determined to use the large grisailles muscle of Martijn’s thigh along with skin and tissue and fat (what little he had) from his abdomen to pack and cushion the reconstructed posterior. Keep in mind that the resulting bum has no opening now – no crack or hole, but looking at his masterpiece you wouldn’t know it. Martijn was opened in so many ways – the thigh, his abdomen in two places, one for removal of the fat, the other to create his colostomy – but it is here, at the bitter end, so to speak, where the rubber hits the road. And rubber is what Martijn says it feels like. Sitting on rubber. He talks a lot about how most people take sitting for granted. He knows. But, as his ‘bil plastiek’ (ass plastic reconstruction) heals we both admit that from any distance, this ‘tush’ deserves a “Bottom’s Up” toast! We feel incredibly fortunate that Dr. Sawor was his surgeon.

Saturday Night at the Pannekeukenhuis

Here I am with good pal Ursula Glunk and new friends Mary Waller and Birgit Schneidmuller, at the Pannekeukenhuis, St. Geertruid, Saturday, November 17, 2007. Birgit and I are lectures in the Faculty of Economics and Business Administration's Marketing Department while her partner Mary and Ursula both are professors in the Organization and Strategy Department (just around the corner). Mary and I are American. Birgit and Ursula are both from the same region of Germany. This was the first time we all got together for a social evening and it felt incredibly comfortable – like being with old friends.
Plus, the family style restaurant that Birgit and Mary recommended was a total hoot! Just as we were polishing off some potent "Dutch Coffee" made with a very tasty and strong local Limburg liqueur, in marches the local band. Click the arrow for a taste of a Limburg style marching band. Remember, Carnival is a wee few months away.

Martijn, meanwhile enjoyed his own very Limburg evening at mom's where she cooked up a very regional delicacy - rabbit in red wine sauce. This evening represents a milestone - our very first 'night' out in almost five months - since Martijn's condition cascaded downward. We both enjoyed our respective experiences, conversations, food and companionship. And today a follow-up milestone – Martijn took his own shower and walked unaided and alone outside!! I had my own walk along the River Muese chatting with Claudia Chaves and Mary Ann Mayer, then with that ‘yakky’ ole Yurt Builder himself, Sir Heinz Brummel, who called from his cozy position inside the EarthShip Martijn (see ‘Heinz Builds A Yurt named Earth Ship Martijn’, Wednesday, October 31st entry) to announce its completion. We closed a good weekend while watching the documentary on the Philadelphia Mummer’s Day Parade sent to us by Bob Ingram entitled ‘Strut’ while chowing down on a hearty dinner of homemade turkey sausage with a side of mashed ginger/garlic, sweet potato, broccoli and zucchini. Yum. Later, my best pal Sally Eves phoned from upstate Pennsylvania to regale me with hysterical tales of her childhood pets. All in all this was one great weekend. We are very aware of being alive and very grateful.

Amazing amiable emissaries

Tessa Gunther and Scott Hagg visit us, Maastricht, Friday, November 16, 2007.









Our Gang: Dinner Party at Monica & John’s, our old ‘hood’, Seward Neighborhood, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Saturday, November 10, 2007. From left: Claudia, Mary Ann, Therese, Tom, dik (standing) Carmen, John, Monica, Scott, Tessa, Anne, Luis.



Tessa and Scott made an amazing decision. They took a long weekend holiday from Minneapolis to Amsterdam dedicating one entire day just to shed their mellow light and love our way. That's a lot of hours and miles for a brief visit. (Minneapolis to Amsterdam = 8 hours, and that’s just flying, not to mention getting to airport, waiting at the airport, etc. Amsterdam to Maastricht by direct train = 2 1/2 hours!)

Martijn and I were moved to tears by their easy and spontaneous characters, by their generosity of heart and 'cart' (they schlepped bags full of items from the states that we can't get here), and by their role as emissaries from a core circle of our Minneapolis/St. Paul friends pictured above. They came bearing special handmade cards and notes and special gifts like a warm scarf for Martijn’s scrawny neck and a magical bag of healing stones prepared by Anne from all corners of the world.



We prepared a little Maastricht-style feast for our amicable emissaries lit by our new electronic fireplace (great fire video). We shared stories and caught up on Tessa and Scotts new life together (married over two years ago) and then I got to conduct a magical mystery of tour of Maastricht by fading sunlight and romantic moonlight. Alas, the darling duo left too soon but the memories of this mission of mercy and merriment will linger on for many moons to come. We love you Minnesota!

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

The title of this blog is a quote from the film, "Forrest Gump" which continues, "You never know what you're going to get." This week, life really was like a box of chocolates. In reality we received three boxes of chocolate bon bons along with many sweet visits and surprise packages. I had 'dinner and movie' with Casey (along with many more sweets). Tomorrow Tessa and Scott breeze in from Minnesota to share cheer and news. Thanks to recommendations of good friends we found someone to help with cleaning the house and a new bank that caters to international transactions and has English internet banking. But the best bon bon came today when Martijn had the drainage tube removed. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Hopefully, the result will be what the doctors hope for - not too much leaking from the small remaining incision or too much edema, a well-known side effect once the drains are removed. Earlier in the week Martijn was fitted for long support hose (all the way up, darlings). Hopefully he'll perform a drag show for me in private ala "Benny Hill". Go ahead, buy a delicious box of chocolate - really decadent ones and share them with a friend. Or present them to a stranger. You never know what you're going to get. Life is too short not to indulge occasionally.

Connections

Martijn & dear friend & fellow philosopher Wijnand van Lieshout, at home, Maastricht, Tuesday, November 13, 2007.







This is Silvie, our favorite home nurse from the Groenekruis (Green Cross) Domicura agency, at home, Maastricht, Tuesday, November 13, 2007.

It is a cold, rainy autumn day but brightened by necessary connections. Each day the home nursing team, run by a non-profit organization named Groenekruis Domicura, sends nurses to check Martijn's healing colostomy wound and to change and help him to learn to change the stoma bag, as it is called in Dutch. They have also been responsible for emptying and monitoring the lymph drain, measuring Martijn's output and logging it twice a day. The latter duty has been hard won. The home care nurses are not all trained at a high professional level. While our experience has been that to the person each 'nurse' (male and female) has been a kind and willing caregiver, the home care system itself is fraught with problems. This is not to complain, but rather to note the reality. Martijn's lymph drain is not unique, however his condition is. So while home care has trained nurses to work with such systems, here they ONLY are sent for breast cancer patients. For the past weeks Martijn, our general practitioner, Dr. Bom, and his surgeon, Dr. Keymeulen, have agitated to have the nurses qualified with this drainage system sent to our home with no success. The rules are that these trained nurses are uniquely for breast cancer patients. That's what I call not simply inflexible, but also simply stupid. So, for weeks Martijn himself has made countless calls to Groenekruis complaining that we had to train each new nurse (and you'd be shocked at how many different ones come rather than having an assigned nurse). At this point we're simply hoping that the drain comes out this coming Thursday, but the situation illuminates larger administrative issues with home care system. Still, as with Sylvie, on an individual basis we have liked and respected each caregiver and in general, I'm grateful that there is such a subsidized service.

As Martijn's condition improves it is visits from very dear old friends, like Wijnand, that mark milestones. Today Wijnand traveled from his home near Tilburg to spend and entire afternoon and evening. These two old friends share many memories and a kindred appreciation for philosophy. It is really heartwarming to observe them together.

And my dear friend, and former husband, Bob Ingram, reconnected me today to my Philadelphia roots. He mailed me two videos, both produced by Max L. Rabb. "Rittenhouse Square" is a documentary about one of my favorite Philly pocket parks. I spent good portions of my university days simply hanging out in this square. Now, thanks to another old friend, Barbara Craig, the square is where I stay whenever I visit Philly since her condo sits above this Philadelphia landmark. The second documentary is entitled "Strut", a story of the one, the only Philadelphia Mummers and their famous New Year's Day parade. Now I realize why I relate so easily and readily to Maastricht's Carnival - it's the Mummers redux! Anyway, with my newly region free 'hacked' dvd players I'm in for some good viewing.

So, our journey continues with professional and personal connections that link and nurture us on Martijn's road to recovery.

Brothers

Noel and Martijn, at home, Maastricht, Monday, November 12, 2007

Baby bro', Noel, who at almost 45 is ten years younger than big bro' Martijn, came a'callin' today. See the resemblance? Noel always knows exactly what little treats to bring along. This time it was rich, dense chocolate bon bons that looked astoundingly like, well...breasts, and a jar of capers. The brothers shared a lot of laughs and good conversation and Noel helped me out by pumping up the front tire on my bike.

Earlier Martijn continued his own pumping up, beginning to increase his physicality with new routines under the guidance of his physical therapist, Ineke while I got my own ‘practical’ workout by lifting buckets of steaming hot water during a deep and fundamental cleaning of the house. I also ramped up my job and consulting hunting and began re-working my own personal career plan. Dr. Davy Meyers made his weekly call from the States and later in the week I hope to continue using David as a sounding board on career matters. An invitation from my good buddy, Birgit and her partner, Mary for a real Limburg style dinner out this weekend with Ursula as my ‘date’ gave me a feeling that little by little some normalcy is returning to our routines.

Tomorrow Martijn will host one of his dearest and oldest friends, fellow philosopher Wijnand van Lieshout, while I enjoy dinner and a movie with Casey. Looking forward to that. Signing off now, Suze

Past, present, future - NOW

PAST

Here's Ursula Glunk and Krista Knopper, ‘In 't Knijpke’ cafe, Maastricht, December 2006. I met Krista back when she was the tutor for ‘making presentations’ in my EPA Master's Programme. Since then she has become a good friend, introducing me to Ursula and others, and trying her best to help me network and navigate in the arcane corners of the University of Maastricht. Yesterday she brought her own brand of sunshine along with sunflowers to brighten our day before she heads out for a four-week exchange mission on behalf of the University to Vietnam and India.

My brother, Allen Schaefer, café on Walnut Street, Philadelphia, May 2006. Allen is my half-brother, son of my father's first marriage. Well after Allen's mother died my dad met and married my mom, Emma. Allen is 23 years my senior, and recently relocated to Allentown to be closer to his son, Roy, after living most of his life in Willingboro, New Jersey. We keep in touch via the internet. This photo was taken last year when Allen graciously agreed to spend a few hours together during my job-hunting trip to Philly.

PRESENT: Martijn continues making progress. This past Friday his surgeons decided not to remove the stitches from the large wound on his thigh (where they took his grisailles muscle) or the drainage tube that keeps his lymph system from backing up causing edema (that last time caused the nicely healing thigh wound to split open). However, the surgeons seemed optimistic that the wound is healing nicely again and expect to remove the drainage system next week. (There is always increased danger of infection when you have a tube coming in that can also let in infection. So while the drainage helps prevent the dreaded side effect of edema from occurring, which is well known to those who have experienced breast cancer surgery, it also prevents the ‘natural’ closing of the wounds caused by removing the lymph glands – a desirable outcome. Trade offs.) Both of us will be happy for the tube to come out as it prevents Martijn’s progressive mobility and interferes with sleeping, dressing normally, etc. However, we are both pretty darn happy with progress so far.

Last night Casey O’Dell and her husband, Jerome Fransen, came, cooked and conquered our hearts. Jerome comes from a famous Maastricht delicatessen family and has savory sensibility running in his veins. Casey hails from a Dallas family and also knows how to create great chow, so between the two of them we were served a feast worthy of a castle or a ranch! Of course, after a hearty meal both Martijn and I fell asleep watching the charming new penguin classic, ‘Surf’s Up’! This was no reflection on the good company only our own sated state.

FUTURE: I’m hoping to nudge myself back into a work mode. While I can’t plan too far ahead, I think I’ll be up to conduct the kind of consulting or training that allows me to be away from home for shorter periods, working mostly out of my home office when I don’t need face-to-face time. Martijn hopes to build back his weight and stamina. Once the wound is stable and the tubes are gone he can increase walking and minor exercise. We are mindful that this is an agonizingly slow process. Just keep in mind how severe his surgery was. And in the back of our consciousness, we hold the grim prognosis about the aggressive and elusive nature of the anal squamous cell carcinoma he has. His recovery thus far has made our optimism more valid; still, we understand the bigger picture.

NOW:“Our lifetime exists only in the present moment, after all. Past, present, future realized in a warm embrace, a smile, and act of kindness. Be well, be wise, and laugh a lot.” – Susan Schaefer

Carnival, Sinta Klaas and Our Helpers

Here I am, La Carnivala 2007. The city will have its official Carnival Kickoff this Sunday. As always it occurs at 11:11 on 11/11 in the Vrijthof, the main square. Maastricht goes wild. Today there were signs of this momentous event everywhere mixed in with storefronts preparing for Sinta Klaas. The name Santa Claus comes from Sinta Klaas, which is the Dutch version of Saint Nicholas. He was a bishop who lived in Myra (in Turkey) and was famous for his generosity. In the Middle Ages he became the patron saint of children. He died on December 6, 310. As a result St. Nicholas's Day takes place on that date and in Europe many children get gifts. This is great news for Santa and his helpers because it spreads out the delivery period of gifts.

Today I needed and found a few "helpers" whose mere presence were gifts. Martijn, thankfully, had a good day. Mine went awry from the beginning. First thing, all I wanted was a hot bath. NO WATER! This wasn't a good sign. Then, I purchased the wrong sized duvet cover and had to return it. What's the biggie, you may ask? I walk everywhere and the shops are a mile away - so two round trips mean 4 miles. Then I discovered the €9 sweater I found on the return trip had a hole in it. This meant another round trip to the shop! However, as my mood plummeted (since Martijn's illness my moods are easily swayed) I ran into a new friend who suggested we have a coffee. We shared an easy conversation and my spirits were restored.

Then, on my third errand of the day, another good friend, Audrey, accompanied me, this time to post some orders for Martijn's nutri drinks. The post office is a half-mile away. Audrey also offered a coffee, so we chose a nice cafe located right on the River Maas where we sipped, chatted and watched the low but friendly clouds that give the Netherlands its other name - "The Low Sky Country."

When I finally returned home to tend to regular household administration, I discovered that my recent US wire transfer to our Dutch account hadn’t gone through. Aiyee! No water, wrong bedcover, damaged new sweater, no money, necessary nutritional drinks - it all felt rather BIG. Better than any Santa helper yet another good friend, Kay Dixon from TCF bank in Minneapolis, came to the rescue, tracking down what happened. The story hasn't ended (since the error seems to be at this end) but at least another angel is at my back when I really needed her wind beneath my wings. Hopefully the situation will be resolved tomorrow, along, fingers crossed, with Martijn's thigh wound and lymph drainage issues. We're hoping for stitches and drainage tubes out and funds in.

The evening ended with a visit from two more lovely ladies, both of whom I’ve met through the International Women’s Club of South Limburg. Shilly Lion is originally from Kerala, India, but has lived in the Netherlands most of her life. Her apartment sits literally across from ours so that when we chat on the phone we can wave. Shilly brought along Ellen, who is originally from Indonesia, but lived and raised her family in California before relocating back to the Netherlands. Her husband, who recently passed away from ALS, was from Maastricht and now she’s settled here. Martijn and I were charmed by our evening company and wish you a cozy night. Sweet dreams from the land of Carnival and Sinta Klaas.

Calling All Angels 4 - Sweet Simone

I found this photo montage to Jane siberry's song, "Calling all angels" on YouTube. Since so many have asked about the song, I direct you to this brief slide show with the lovely music of k.d. lang singing Jane Siberry's song.

This morning I visited one of my favorite angels (who masquerades as a human walking on earth). Her name is Simone Peerdeman and she has manifested herself in this lifetime as a shiatsu massage therapist. Oh, but she's much more. Simone has been able to reach deep inside my weary body to infuse it with light. It is perhaps natural that I have absorbed much of the impact of what has happened to Martijn. The two of us share a very deep connection. I'm trying to make sure that as Martijn receives his healing treatments, both medical and 'alternative', I also take good care of myself. Simone is my primary source for that. And isn't it delightfully coincidental that one of her main modalities is shiatsu, precisely what Martijn practiced in Minneapolis.

As I had my treatment today by Simone, Martijn, at the hospital for an appointment, received good news from the plastic surgeon - he feels that all the surgeries are healing very well and encouraged Martijn to begin sitting more often. He also explained that the tightness in his bum should eventually begin to soften. Earlier, a home care nurse specially sent by his oncologic surgeon, Dr. Keymeulen, and trained specifically in this area, successfully dealt with the drainage tube issue. She taught Martijn how to get out the kinks in the tube.

So today both of us got the kinks out! A happy result indeed. More angels to come so dust off your wings and soar. If you have good health today - it's a great day. Yours truly, formerly kinky Suze.

Calling All Angels 3

Martijn had a quiet mostly good day. His thigh wound is healing nicely. He called his primary surgeon to ask when the stitches could be removed and she told him this Friday when he sees her in the morning. Tomorrow he has a hospital visit with his plastic surgeon. Top of the menu are questions regarding how he can begin to use his entirely reconstructed ass. So far he is only allowed to sit for 15 minutes of every two or so hours. It's very uncomfortable. His new bum was surgically made from the muscle and skin from his thigh (where the wound is taking longer to heal) and fat from his stomach (because they removed so much of his posterior including a part of his spine). It's easy to understand why it is so difficult for him to sit, yes? But, I have a birds, well, maybe a cat's eye view of this new part of his body and without prejudice I attest it's beautiful. Really, incredibly gorgeous. His plastic surgeon, Dr. Sawlor, can do my face lift any time. Now, you'll never see this result here, so you have to believe that since I've been entirely honest in all I've written here, you couldn't believe Martijn had surgery, and such extensive surgery, by looking at that cute new bum! Martijn seems to be a natural self-healer, so please keep your prayers, meditations and candles going that the cancer will also never be invited back into any of his precious cells. And, here are more of you angels, keeping the light lit that this is so.

A part of the members (and some of their partners) of my University of Maastricht European Public Affairs Masters Programme during a little reunion in May 2006 on the roof terrace of our former apartment in Maastricht.

Libby and Paul Scheele, Maastricht, September 2007









Bob Ingram, "Down the Shore", Wildwood, New Jersey, May 2006.

















Yulan San, Maastricht, summer 2006.

Calling All Angels 2

Yesterday I stayed in my pyjamas all day and began applying myself for a return to meaningful, fulfilling work. I reestablished contact with ongoing clients, updated my materials, even applied for a position here in the Netherlands. It is time. I am willing and somewhat able, the ‘somewhat’ referring to making sure that my work allows close proximity to Martijn.

Martijn was busy mending. He’s learning how to handle the colostomy (stoma) bag, and still fighting the home care nursing system here, the Groen Kruis (Green Cross), that has not provided nurses trained to handle the lymph fluid drain. Carol Malkinson gave Martijn a book he's enjoying entitled, “Bag Lady” that chronicles the valiant recovery and subsequent conquering of life with a colostomy.

Dinner Party at dik and Carmen’s, St. Paul, MN, 2005: Scott, Carmen, Tom, Anne, Monica, John, Theresa, Martijn, Claudia, dik, Tessa, me squatting.


Barbara Lukermann, Seward Café, Minneapolis, MN 2005










Brunch at Claudia’s, River Road, Seward Neighborhood, Minneapolis, MN, 2006: Standing: Martijn, Michal, Michael, Rich; Seated top: Tim, David, Claudia, Brant; Seated bottom: Suzanne, me, Diane










Leslie and Me, Spiral Dynamics Certification Workshop, Santa Barbara, California, 2006










Martijn, me and Lorcan, Dublin, Ireland, 2005

Calling All Angels 1

We got angels. If you don't know this haunting and lovely song by Jane Siberry with k.d.lang, find it, listen and love it.

Calling All Angels

Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Anna, Santa Susannah
Santa Cecilia, Santa Copelia, Santa Domenica, Mary Angelica
Frater Achad, Frater Pietro, Julianus, Petronilla
Santa, Santos, Miroslaw, Vladimir
and all the rest

a man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
and high above the church bells start to ring
and as the heaviness the body oh the heaviness settles in
somewhere you can hear a mother sing

then it's one foot then the other as you step out onto the road
how much weight? how much weight?
then it's how long? and how far?
and how many times before it's too late?

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we're cryin' and we're hurtin'
and we're not sure why...

and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
it's almost...it's almost as if
if you could only crack the code
then you'd finally understand what this all means

but if you could...do you think you would
trade in all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you'd miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
callin' all angels
callin' all angels
we're tryin'
we're hopin'
we're hurtin'
we're lovin'
we're cryin'
we're callin'
'cause we're not sure how this goes

Here are some of our angels. More to come

Marion and Marieke

Jang

Jacqueline

Casey and Jerome

Me & Cousin Hannah

Gezellig

Ingrid Regout at my graduation from the European Public Affairs Masters Programme, Maastricht, June 30, 2005.

Ingrid Regout was the very first person I made contact with when I applied for the Masters in European Public Affairs Programme here in Maastricht. At that time Ingrid was the executive administrator of the programme. She took care of all of us in a personal and professional manner. Martijn and I have been fortunate to grow a friendship with Ingrid during the following years and tonight she came to us creating an evening at our home that has to be called "gezellig" a very Dutch word for which no translation suffices. The closest you come in English is "cozy", but gezellig is so much more than that. Ingrid has inner warmth wrapped in a direct and honest exterior that creates its own unique ambiance, and this evening she also brought along all the fixings for an honest Maastricht meal - homemade zucchini soup with tomato 'torte'. I prepared a fresh salad and our trusty 'Mr. Albert Hein' came through with a delicious apple pie. To top off this perfect autumn evening we got to belly laugh the calories away by watching "The Full Monty". (Soon Martijn hopes to be able to dance like these guys and expose all the lovely work rendered by his surgeons!)

With Martijn's mobility still limited by the drainage tube dangling from his right thigh, it's important for us to have nights 'out' that are 'in'. And when they are made gezellig by excellent company, food and some levity, time passes cozily and quickly. Hope your autumn stays cozy, Susan

Steph & Snoepje Serendipity

Stephanie Cunningham, the wonderful foster mother of our beloved cat, Snoepje van de Weg, Rosa Neus, Papa John. And, the many faces of Miz Schnoopes!



Dearest Animal lovers and psychics. Today Martijn received Part Two of Gerry Hartmayer's Healing Touch session. It was a very very moving, open, loving, intense and successful interlude. During the session and at its conclusion, Gerry gently reminded Martijn about "calling to him" all the healing spirits around the world who have been with us and continue to be with us during this journey. Gerry asked Martijn if he had one particular spirit accompanying him. "Yes," he replied, pointing to a portrait on one of our bookshelves, "Snoepje, our beloved cat." Gerry then inquired more about Snoepje, so I explained how it came to be that she is now living in what I call "Cat Heaven" with Stephanie Cunningham in Minnesota. Low and behold, after Gerry departed our home, I received the following email. Serendipity or pure connectedness...does it really matter?

Dearest Susan & Martijn,

I hope this finds you both enjoying a wonderful, rest-filled weekend together. I want to thank you for keeping so many of us informed and up-to-date on your astounding journey.

The blog, Susan, is a beautiful testament to staying connected in a very intimate, soulful way, with those who love us. Your prose and thought process many times, have been moving and eye-opening for me. I am in awe of your writing skills - just so lovely and articulate. And as you say, writing can be a type of therapy, a releasing, a flushing out of emotions and energy that could keep us stuck in some way. Your writing is a great gift and I thank you for sharing it with your global network.

Martijn, what to say to someone who is living with such a challenge? It truly is an inspiration; perhaps a call to the rest of us to wake up and be ever-so present to each day. And not take each day nor our health for granted. I found myself cringing reading about some of the hospital and medical struggles you've both been enduring. I can empathize with that portion of your journey. It brings up many experiences I (with my parents) had as a child in dealing with the medical model. Thank goodness there are those who work within this rigid system, that are truly caring, healing souls meant to assist us through the crazy painful and outright infuriating times.

And to the both of you, I'm very moved by the connection I feel with you, even though in reality, we don't know each other. Snoepje was/is our connection - lifeline, one could say. I think about how we literally spent what, perhaps and hour and half together over a year ago? Meeting as strangers who together love this furry-demanding-funny-weird-beautiful little being (and let's not forget his holiness, Mr. Yin (the Buddha in fur). It's quite remarkable I think. And so, now the two of you are going through this horrendous, yet grace-filled challenge. By documenting and sharing your process, I am allowed to get to know you in a very intimate way. I wanted to thank you for that. So my tiny gift to you, is this link to some recent photos I took of your sweetpea. Know that some are out of focus, others not so good, but there a few that are nice, I think. (I was using my brother's camera - my first foray into digital technology - it's so different from using my "old" 35mm film cameras). I hope you find a few shots here of the girly-girl that you like and could print out.

http://picasaweb.google.com/cunninghamster1954/StephSPhotos?authkey=oLm-smtLcbs

I've been keeping Snoepje current on how you both are doing. I've tried to show her the photos of Papa, but as you can guess, she's not much for being held in front of a computer screen for very long. But I know she's continuing to send you much Schnoops-Love, nuzzles and mews. I tell how much her mama & papa would love having her near, so she could help in healing Papa's wounds. Laying on his chest, purring away while perhaps suckling on his shirt - what's better than that? No medicine or procedure I know of! I guess you will have to settle for receiving it all on the astral.

So, know you are being held in our prayers and thoughts on a daily basis. Continue to keep on, keeping on, as they say. Well, probably not in Netherlands, but you know us Mini-soow-tans.

Much love and blessings to you two,

xxxooo
--Steph & Snoepje

Touch

Click the arrow to watch an actual healing touch session with Gerry Hartmayer and Charlotte Roozemond working on Martijn

Touch is vital to healing. Much has been written about the effect of touch upon infants, the eldery and the infirm. We all need touch yet too often in our society we've been removed from access to safe, pure, affectionate touch. Martijn and I snuggle, cuddle and pet frequently. I was raised in an affectionate household. Today I got an extra dose of touch by being with Hassna Nouisri, my most affectionate and capable skin care practitioner who has recently moved to our local Aveda Salon. It was pure heaven. Hassna [Assh-NA] provides more than a facial - she ministers to skin and soul with her gentle, caring professionalism. When I left I was glowing from top to bottom. After lunch it was Martijn's turn as our angel of healing touch, Gerry Hartmayer (please see Thursday, October 24th entry on this blog) and her friend and colleague, Charlotte Roozemond, once again worked with Martijn from the spiritual down to the cellular level. Today they focused on his lymph system as well as his spine and bum, which, as you can imagine, is tight and sore. Gerry asked if they could return tomorrow. We are very fortunate and blessed by their nurture and care. Remember, we all need touch. If you're currently not in a relationship that provides this, please find ways to bring touch into your life. Ask for platonic hugs from family or friends or find a good massuse. Here's a virtual hug your way from your flatland friends. Hug, hug, S&M

Release

Martijn's new physcial therapist Ineke van den Bosch performs a release therapy for Martijn's spine to help open up the lung area. At home, Thursday, November 1, 2007


Ineke and Maurice, our physical therapist and general practitioner, visiting our home today.

Today was a release day. Both Martijn and I experienced some release. We didn't have to rush through the morning and we didn't have to go to the hospital. My release was feeling 'normal' and happy. I managed a relaxing hot bath topped off with my regular 'in tub' meditation, then did the groceries at nearby Albert Hein supermarket where I ran into my friend and colleague, Sophie Vanhoonacker, who was director of the University of Maastricht European Public Affairs Masters Programme when I originally applied. It's always so nice to see and speak to Sophie. After lunch, Doc Maurice stopped by and I received my flu shot sitting at our own dining room table! Although he is primarily here to visit Martijn I enjoyed a big release not having to travel to his office. We had a lively discussion of Dutch health care and I'm going to try to work with him to promote some ideas he has to improve public health policy. In the late afternoon I dropped off our glass recycling in the containers provided around the city and found a reasonably priced bicycle for me that I bought. I've had a very poor quality used 'fiets' and wanted a better bike so that I can make use of our wonderful Dutch bikeways more.

Martijn, too, seemed to be released for a while from the exhaustion and frustration of the hospital clinic visits. Ineke worked wonders with him. He made his own breakfast and lunch, enjoying very much his improved mobility and stamina. Tonight will be another quiet evening. I'm preparing spinach pasta with vegetarian 'meat' balls, red sauce with zucchini and salad with sun-dried tomatoes.

People have been asking how I'm caring for myself. My friend, Carol Malkinson, whose presence was so comforting to me during Martijn’s hospital stay, sent an email about book on caregiving she read while caring for her mom aptly called "The 36-hour Day." The 36-hour day truly reflects what it feels like. But, I have some tricks rather like the advice given to parents regarding airline safety measures: When the oxygen masks fall, warn the airline hosts, parents should first apply their own mask before helping their child. The logic is rather simple: If you are out of air you can’t help anyone else. So, each day during this first critical phase of Martijn’s surgery and recovery I made sure to take a refreshing bath or shower and to meditate, even if for a very short time. Except when Martijn’s condition was truly critical, I also made sure to apply my minimal makeup and wear nice clothing. In other words, even when I was truly stressed and exhausted I took some time to try to be normal. When he began to improve, I improved my rituals, taking a longer breakfast and walking to the hospital when I could. Writing this blog is also therapeutic for me – I process what’s happening while practicing my main talent – writing and messing about with photography, mini-videos and keeping fresh with computer skills entailed in blogging itself. At night, I now try to have quality quiet time alone with Martijn, making up for the scary, lonely month apart. And, I have a quiet, private prayer ritual I practice every night and have since I was a small child. All of this feeds me, feeds my soul – releases me.

Next steps, if Martijn continues to improve, will be to work again. I really miss consulting, coaching analyzing, planning and collaborating with colleagues and clients. The simple truth is, I enjoy problem solving and contributing my skills and talents to something meaningful. Meanwhile, sharing thoughts with you has filled in a small portion of this need, and being there for Martijn is by far the greatest contribution I think I can ever make, as is his contribution back to me. Without his valor his courage and even his ‘piss and vinegar’ I simply would be unable to participate in this healing journey. He is my coach and collaborator, and for now, I’m pretty lucky.