Past, present, future - NOW

PAST

Here's Ursula Glunk and Krista Knopper, ‘In 't Knijpke’ cafe, Maastricht, December 2006. I met Krista back when she was the tutor for ‘making presentations’ in my EPA Master's Programme. Since then she has become a good friend, introducing me to Ursula and others, and trying her best to help me network and navigate in the arcane corners of the University of Maastricht. Yesterday she brought her own brand of sunshine along with sunflowers to brighten our day before she heads out for a four-week exchange mission on behalf of the University to Vietnam and India.

My brother, Allen Schaefer, café on Walnut Street, Philadelphia, May 2006. Allen is my half-brother, son of my father's first marriage. Well after Allen's mother died my dad met and married my mom, Emma. Allen is 23 years my senior, and recently relocated to Allentown to be closer to his son, Roy, after living most of his life in Willingboro, New Jersey. We keep in touch via the internet. This photo was taken last year when Allen graciously agreed to spend a few hours together during my job-hunting trip to Philly.

PRESENT: Martijn continues making progress. This past Friday his surgeons decided not to remove the stitches from the large wound on his thigh (where they took his grisailles muscle) or the drainage tube that keeps his lymph system from backing up causing edema (that last time caused the nicely healing thigh wound to split open). However, the surgeons seemed optimistic that the wound is healing nicely again and expect to remove the drainage system next week. (There is always increased danger of infection when you have a tube coming in that can also let in infection. So while the drainage helps prevent the dreaded side effect of edema from occurring, which is well known to those who have experienced breast cancer surgery, it also prevents the ‘natural’ closing of the wounds caused by removing the lymph glands – a desirable outcome. Trade offs.) Both of us will be happy for the tube to come out as it prevents Martijn’s progressive mobility and interferes with sleeping, dressing normally, etc. However, we are both pretty darn happy with progress so far.

Last night Casey O’Dell and her husband, Jerome Fransen, came, cooked and conquered our hearts. Jerome comes from a famous Maastricht delicatessen family and has savory sensibility running in his veins. Casey hails from a Dallas family and also knows how to create great chow, so between the two of them we were served a feast worthy of a castle or a ranch! Of course, after a hearty meal both Martijn and I fell asleep watching the charming new penguin classic, ‘Surf’s Up’! This was no reflection on the good company only our own sated state.

FUTURE: I’m hoping to nudge myself back into a work mode. While I can’t plan too far ahead, I think I’ll be up to conduct the kind of consulting or training that allows me to be away from home for shorter periods, working mostly out of my home office when I don’t need face-to-face time. Martijn hopes to build back his weight and stamina. Once the wound is stable and the tubes are gone he can increase walking and minor exercise. We are mindful that this is an agonizingly slow process. Just keep in mind how severe his surgery was. And in the back of our consciousness, we hold the grim prognosis about the aggressive and elusive nature of the anal squamous cell carcinoma he has. His recovery thus far has made our optimism more valid; still, we understand the bigger picture.

NOW:“Our lifetime exists only in the present moment, after all. Past, present, future realized in a warm embrace, a smile, and act of kindness. Be well, be wise, and laugh a lot.” – Susan Schaefer