Not Alone

Marcel and Mother, Geri, a quiet dinner with us last Sunday, April 13th

Maurice Bom, our doctor, visits on Monday, April 14th 

Maurice consults with Martijn

It's been a while since I wrote. We've had a mostly good week. At present, Martijn is in a slightly stronger ‘chi’ pattern, I think influenced greatly by his lymph therapy sessions. On the other hand, his visage is greyer, and he tires a bit more easily. Still, he’s mobile and doing things, in a limited way, that he enjoys – making his own breakfast and lunch and lots and lots of reading and writing. Still, the pain is increasing and I imagine the cancer spreading, albeit at its own sinister pace. We have no extra help at present due to the situation I describe, but our general practitioner has a palliative team on hand for the changes sure to come. I am now seeing a therapist weekly and she’s a great help. She works with grief and is based in the Toon Hermans ‘Huis’ - the national Dutch cancer support organization that has lovely houses throughout the Netherlands offering such counseling, cooking lessons, art sessions, massage and other services all aimed at helping cancer patients and family through this journey. I'm trying as best I can to be and keep present, enjoying Martijn's company, while still bracing myself for the awful realities I will endure in the days to come. I have ridden a full spectrum of emotions this week, but mostly managed to keep one foot in front of the other.

Yesterday dear friends from Martijn's university days, Werner and Henk, stayed for the afternoon and evening. We celebrated a sort of makeshift Passover, although with Indonesian food substituting for a traditional seder dinner. Today David and Michael arrived from Minneapolis. It is so good to have them here. We spent a very quiet afternoon filled with laughter and tears. Martijn wants everyone to know he doesn't feel alone.