Disturbing Results

Martijn catches a quiet read in my study a week ago

It is April 1st but there weren't any jokes for us today. Martijn is back in the hospital this evening waiting for emergency surgery tomorrow on his right kidney. The PET/CT scan revealed that the cancer has spread to his lymph system at and above the groin. One large tumor so obstructed his right kidney that it failed, leaking urine into his body cavity. They will catheterize that kidney tomorrow resulting in what the urologist called a permanent situation. The catheter will puncture his back, hopefully draining and possibly bringing back to function to that kidney. There is another large tumor in his pelvis and metastasis in his liver. The urologist, Dr. Stijns, said that if they could resuscitate his right kidney he would be able to handle chemotherapy if the medical oncologist decides there is a treatment. 

I write these words as though they are normal to write. Nothing is normal. It is extraordinarily surreal. I want to wake from this dream but my little heart knows it doesn't happen like that.

Martijn, as always, was in great spirits, though the gravity of the news hadn't time to set in before we were whisked from the cancer to the urology clinic and finally the nursing floor. I dashed back home by bus to pack his soft 'jamies and a few essentials, returning with his mother, Geri and our steadfast Marcel. Keep us, as always in your thoughts, meditations and prayers.