Rich Heck helps Martijn to eat on his birthday, Sunday, July 20th
Suzanne Kochevar tells Martijn of the Weeping Cherry Tree that she and Rich have named the "Martijn Tree", planted in his honor at their home near our beloved Lake Minnetonka, Minnesota. Martijn and I spent many wonderful times with Suzanne and Rich enjoying the view from their living room to the pond beyond. Now the Martijn Tree will be in full view.
It is now the final days of Martijn's life. He remains vivid at times, but mostly he sleeps. He can no longer turn himself nor eat nor hold a glass of water on his own. On Sunday his mother, Geri, and our Marcel came along with brother Janus and my sister-in-law, Irma, and brother Noel to celebrate Martijn's 56th birthday. It is a milestone he vowed to make back in March when we received the news that the cancer had spread and was terminal.
I drift in and out of denial and acceptance that my beloved 'frog' will no longer be with me on this fragile plane of existence. Helping me through this period, which has proved to be the most difficult for me, are Suzanne and Rich. Suzanne told me months ago to simply let her know when I needed them and they would come. I did. They came on Thursday the 17th. Along with my brother-in-law, Janus, they are helping us walk this strange, mysterious, frightening path to that place where each and every one of us must go, but yet remains veiled like the fabled mists of Avalon in so much secrecy and awe.
I am not telling you the half of the story here. We have so many brave souls to thank for providing care and support. That will come. Please read this wise saying sent to Martijn by our friend Jacqueline Braun to understand how I feel:
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words.
- George Eliot (a female 19th century British novelist)
4 comments:
DEAR SUZE,
I KNOW THE COMFORT AND STRENGTH THAT SUZANNE AND RICH EMIT. I CAN THINK OF NO BETTER PEOPLE, ON THIS EARTH, TO BE WITH YOU AT THIS TIME. THANKS TO THEM, FROM ALL OF US OUT HERE, WHO LOVE YOURSELF AND MARTIJN SO MUCH BUT CAN'T BE WITH YOU. PLEASE GIVE A FINAL BEAR-HUG TO YOUR FROG FROM ME. PEACE! YOUR BRO, ROB
DEAR SUZE,
I KNOW THE COMFORT AND STRENGTH THAT SUZANNE AND RICH EMIT. I CAN THINK OF NO BETTER PEOPLE, ON THIS EARTH, TO BE WITH YOU AT THIS TIME. THANKS TO THEM, FROM ALL OF US OUT HERE, WHO LOVE YOURSELF AND MARTIJN SO MUCH BUT CAN'T BE WITH YOU. PLEASE GIVE A FINAL BEAR-HUG TO YOUR FROG FROM ME. PEACE! YOUR BRO, ROB
Oh my frogs...how wonderful Rich and Suzanne can be there for you two. How painful and poignant a time. Celebrating a beginning and an ending at the same time. I thought looking at the pictures, what a blessing it is for Martijn to be able to be in his bed in his home with his spouse as he leaves this world. Not in a hospital somewhere. What a gift and a blessing you are giving Martijn every minute of everyday he has left. You may feel exhausted and sad and worn out sitting beside him, but the gift is that you ARE sitting beside him in these last days. I mourn, I weep and I dance this sad passage with you both. No measured words...just spirit hugs.
Michael and David
It is good to know that you have good friends there with you Suze. My heart is with you.
I love you.
Bonnie
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