Maastricht Revisited4:Visiting vs. vacation

Visiting friends implies being present with them – having intent to connect, converse and hopefully deepen relations. My relationships are oxygen – my lifeblood, my center.

Moving into my third and fourth weeks here the theme for me is truly about connecting and deepening.

A few things have become apparent to me during this return trip. Surely they may have already been apparent to my many friends and family earlier. Martijn’s illness caused a major disruption in the very fabric of my soul that shattered everything and left me only enough presence to dedicate myself to him during his final months.

My European relationships were so critical to my day-to-day healing. I cocooned here in Maastricht. My family and friends here allowed stark authenticity in my grief. I now see how comfortable and valuable these relationships are.

And the place itself – Maastricht. Magical, medieval Maastricht. Where the bones of Martijn’s body lie peacefully under a verdant, Zen-like, even whimsical grave. My name and photo are linked on that reverent site. I am linked to this place as much, or more than to my other homes. And this trip has sealed that consciousness.

Trip to Amsterdam/Rotterdam

One reason for timing of my trip to the Netherlands was to catch the ninth annual free Sporenburg performance of my dear friend, Herman Rouw. Each year Herman and Ton finance this outdoor concert at the tip of the Sporenburg ‘island’ 10 minutes east of central Amsterdam as a gift to the neighborhood. This year Herman selected a number of Dutch composers for his piano recital. I asked Ingrid Regout to accompany me to Amsterdam for the performance and we made a nice weekend tour.

Ingrid and I hop a train from Maastricht to Amsterdam Central

Murder at the Lloyd! We book a room at the Lloyd Hotel located in the “eastern Docklands” where Herman will be performing on Saturday evening, September 3rd. The Hotel is tauted as incredibly forward design, but we found our room a bit over-priced and oppressive. Here’s the designer rug serving as a murder scene!

Happily we took Saturday’s summery weather and made an extensive walking tour of Amsterdam Centrum. This is Bloemengracht, where my dear friends the Soeters have moved.

Merle and Sjoerd Soeters new pad! Note the whimsical whale details at the top!

Later that evening we arrive early for Herman’s concert. Around 300+ people attended!

Herman Rouw, post concert party!

Where’s my bike? The congestion of bike parking at Amsterdam’s Central station bespeaks the dominance of the ‘fiets’ over the auto!!!

Sunday we visit the famous central library designed by my dear friend, architect Jo Coenen.

Ingrid: youth section - that way<<

Rotterdam: A visit with the Frank Family

There was yet another reason for the timing of my trip to Holland - to see Martijn’s long time, best friends from university days, Rob and Therese Frank and their family. However, the visit was bittersweet. In a terrible irony Therese has the precise cancer, anal, as Martijn had. I had spoken and corresponded often with Rob about Therese’s condition. After undergoing the same chemotherapy and radiation treatment as Martijn had, doctors recommend the same serious surgery. Rob asked if I would come visit. They were the friends Martijn asked to see just prior to his surgery, and both came often during his recovery, then decline. I spent a most wonderful day with the Frank family, catching up on our own 16-year history, and learning news from the children. The surgery has gone well and Therese is now recovering.

The Frank family in Rotterdam

Back in Maastricht

More reconnecting and deepening

My sweet Swee

Nadia at Cut Above

Jacques & Pia at Cafe Zondag

Marcel & Geri at OLV Plein

Cheers!

Friday night films outside. Oh Brother where art thou? by the Coen Brothers.

Yet another EPA reunion: Domink, me, Lyse, Lorna and Damian visit from Brussels.

My Maastricht gang: L: Bonnie, Jacques, Ursula, Bob; R: Piet, Pia, me!

Corner games at gelato shop

911: Mississippi River Remembrance

This article origianlly appeared in the Op-Ed section of the Minneapolis Star Tribune on September 16, 2001. I wrote it on 9/11/01, directly after Martijn and I returned from a most unusual yet reassuring afternoon and evening of sharing our friendship, astonishment and grief with our dear friends, Mame Osteen, Tony Moses and Claudia Chaves.

We boarded Tony’s small boat in St. Paul to drift down the mighty Mississippi River on the mint blue day our country was attacked by terrorists in New York and Washington, D.C. Half a continent away, we tried to restore a sense of normalcy while we reflected upon what had happened and what was to come.

Old Man River: the mighty Mississippi rolls through the Twin Cities

Commentary: Old Man River knows the truth: Terrorists won't win Susan T. Schaefer

Published Sep 16 2001

After watching details of the World Trade Center and Pentagon tragedy for hours, someone in our group suggested we unglue from the television. He offered a boat ride down the Mississippi. Not in disrespect, but in honor.

Four Seward neighbors and St. Louis Park friend headed out an a righteous old Sea Ray from the Highland Park marina. The day was as beautiful as it was sad. Neither God nor nature could have gifted a more perfect pre-autumn day.

Here we were, cruising straight down the middle of America. Down the Mississippi on the day America was attacked. If they thought they’d end life as we know it in this magnificent country, they wouldn’t succeed. Won’t succeed. We rode the waterway that defines America’s fourth coast – old man river, Mark Twain’s immortal icon.

No sooner had we eased out of the slip, a blue heron alighted on the nearby shore. Relative of the crane, a symbol of peace for many cultures, the heron became a symbol for this ride, our freedom ride. We needed a sign to assure us that this gesture, this freedom ride, was appropriate.

We passed the barges, flanking the north shore like giant tombs. We passed the infamous old house boats, which this night seemed to glow eerily with the blue haze flickers of television images.

At times we twittered endlessly, making nervous jokes as human tend to do when overwhelmed by uncharacteristic emotions.

At times no one spoke a word. Each gazing out at this rare and untamed urban landscape, lost in private reverie.

We seemed to be the only traffic anywhere – land, air or water – excepting the tugs whose lumbering procession appeared to mimic the dirges that are soon to roll down the streets of America.

The silence itself was shattering. Not a ripple of sound above as the sky pushed out her stars. And then, a sound we’d never heard – Americans accustomed to cluttered airways, unaccustomed to a breach in our way of life. High above. Military jets. On a mission. To protect the Mississippi. The sandstone cliffs. The wild-flowered shores.

At this time we should each take a personal freedom ride to honor the lives of those who cherished this majestic land, to defy those who think they’ve defiled it.

Susan T. Schaefer, a communications consultant, is an adjunct faculty member University of St. Thomas Graduate School of Business, a member of Seward Neighborhood Group’s executive board and past president the Minnesota Chapter of the Public Relations Society of America.

Maastricht Revisited3

Around the City

My second week begins by tending to administration. I must see to my old health care policy, renew my NS (Nederlandse Spoorwegen) national train card (now also good on the buses), see about my Dutch status and telephone contract! Still, a nice walking tour of my old city.

Ubiquitous fiets (bikes) at the Central Station Maastricht.

Onze Lieve Vrouw (our beloved lady), the goddess of Maastricht. She shed a light of light in the dark days of Martijn’s illness.

Here I am with my dear friend, Ingrid Regout, who was the administrator in charge of our Master’s Program back in my ‘student’ days in 2004-2005.

Jens, my knight in shining armor. Dear friend and fellow student from my EPA Masters, now living in Aachen, Germany took me to a favorite tapas bar for great food and conversation.

As Jens walked me back to Ursula’s we got a great laugh: the butcher across the street places these cute penguins for an evening display! Brrrr! Cold meat inside.

Tuesday night I take a night walk, remembering the cozy terraces - here at Onze Lieve Vrouw Plein, lit for the evening.

Also on OLV Plein is my old academy for staying European Public Affairs and Administration, EIPA!

I worked for a year at ECDPM, the European Centre for Development Policy Management, working on their strategic communications plan and writing their Annual Report.

Behind OLV Cathedral springs what? A gelateria with a very red interior!!!

Ice Cream Catacombs anyone?

The old wall with battlements.

An interesting view of the pedestrian bridge arch.

A Late Summer Day at Pia’s

Pia lives in a small village just above Maastricht on the way to Valkenburg, Berg en Terblijt, is hilly and comfortable. We enjoy a sunny, warm day, good food, great conversation, a trip to the vet with the bunnies, and nice time with her sons Sebastian and Pieter.

The sun bath. Soft and welcoming we fall upon the pink and laze the day away!

Uh oh, bunny shots!

Pia prepares a Jamie Oliver crispy chicken feast.

Pia and Pieter

Off to the school the Dutch way

Pia comes to my aid helping uproot an Red Maple that didn’t survive. In its place we plant Salix caprea (Goat Willow, also known as the Pussy Willow or Great Sallow), a common species of willow native to Europeand western and central Asia , Martijn would love the fuzzy pussy willow buds.

Frogs forever frolicking.

Maastricht Revisited2

What greater luxury is there than to have time? Time to think, time to be, time to be present, time to truly converse, to be present with another/others. I am indulging in this luxury for now. My return to my ‘other’ city on the River Maas has been flowing at a leisurely pace. Unhurried, unhurried. How much of my former life was spent rushing from ‘pillar to post’! Like so many, I valued myself over how busy I was, how many appointments and duties I had. Thus, I am cherishing the liquidly unreality of simply being back in this medieval town where so much of my present life has unfolded.

The quality of my time is here is rich. My friends and family here converse about ‘charged’ topics. Politics and poverty, immigration and discrimination, finance and food are typically discussed with rich nuances. People here consider art and culture - full stop. The word consider is the loaded verb of the last sentence. The shape of that or the color of this. Its placement and so on are customary topics. The value of things are not talked about with a focus on what a thing costs, but what it contributes, either to life or well-being. Okay, not all the time, but I love the worldliness and interest in the world that my friends here illicit. The word civilized comes to mind.

And so I happily meet, greet, eat and talk with dear friends, family and acquaintances, easily falling into one of the multiple side walk cafes or restaurants. And so it goes.

Ursula with friend Tom on his terrace in Huegem.

Ursula along the Maas River by the Province House.

Pia’s home in Berg en Terblijt, just outside Maastricht.

Pia and friends cooking it up for her 50th birthday celebration.

Indira and Rob with me at Selexyz Bookstore for our mini-EPA Masters reunion.

Indira, Rob and I in front of our old faculty at Grote Gracht 82.

My sister-in-law, Irma, at an exhibit at the Timmerfabric in Maastricht. Big cups!

Irma and Jan, a moment of marital bliss.

De familie: Irma, Jan and nephew Tjeiu, on a terrace in Maastricht.

Maastricht Revisited

Ten months ago I left Maastricht to settle into a new home in Pompano Beach, Florida in the extreme south of the US. Now I've returned to this medieval town that takes its name from the Maas River which it straddles to reconnect with friends, family and surroundings. My first days have rolled like the river - simply flowing organically.

Bob W. kindly made the almost three-hour drive to meet me at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport.

Why have a clock when St. Maarten's Steeple shines into your window? Night time view from Ursula's window.

Just down the block from Ursula's is the luscious La Luna gelato bar.

Magical Maastricht at twilight, looking westward from Wyck, across the River Muese (Maas).

My dear friend Pia Brand, an angel masquerading as a human.

I settled in nicely at my dear friend Ursula's flat located so conveniently on Maastricht's Wyckerbrugstraat that rolls down the center of city from the train station to the old St. Servaas Brugge that crosses the Maas River and leads to the city's heart. My beginning days have been spent reorienting, leisurely shopping and greeting well-known shop-keepers, and spending time with dear friends and family.

Bob arranged a Saturday auto excursion in the scenic Limburg rolling landscape from Maastricht, NL to Limbourg, BE, on through Eupen, BE, with a stop in historic Monschau, DE a city Martijn so wanted to take me to, continuing on to the mouth of the Rur River in the Effiel Mountains, descending through Aachen, DE and on to Vals, where we dined at a gourmet Florentine Restaurant to cap a perfect day. Vals is home of the spot called Three Points, where the Netherlands, Belgium and Germany all meet.

The following day I spent in a cozy family way with Geri and Marcel, first paying a visit to Martijn's lush and dynamic graveside, so alive in this yard of final repose. Then we visited Martijn's Aunt Sybil in the little scenic village of Guelle. My cousins were around and it was a really wonderful afternoon. We stopped for dinner in Eisden, BE, at another Italian restaurant, with excellent food. Geri is just beginning to show signs of Alzheimer's which made me a bit sad.

An archaic pissoir (yes, what you think) in the French-speaking town of Limbourg, Belgium. There are three provinces of Limburg: Dutch, Belgian and German

The gate of the ancient old walled city of Limbourg, BE

The requisite Castle!

We journeyed from the Netherlands, through Belgium right on to Germany, here stopping in the ancient town of Monschau with it's timbered houses.

A Monschau street scene.

The mouth of the Rur River in the Ardenne, or Eiffel mountains.

Martijn's lush and blooming graveside.

The ever beautiful mother, Geri.

Marcel's favorite passtime, an ice cream at an open air cafe in Guelle.

From the left, Aunt Sybil, Geri, a family friend, Ivan with his mamma, Karla, Robert Jan and Marcel's torso, in the farmhouse of Aunt Sybil.